The Church still finds menopause experiences a taboo subject, according to Karen Markiewicz, England-based chaplain, missionary and author of a soon-to-be-published book on the relationship between the menopause and spiritual formation. Markiewicz spoke to Christian Daily International about the struggles endured by women during menopause and how to find a Christian perspective when the wider Church seems to offer little support.
Creator of an online initiative called Menopause Pilgrims to help Christian women experiencing a menopause, Markiewicz completed a Master’s Degree in Spiritual Formation from Waverley Abbey College but said that no woman she approached for her MA research would “dream of going to their pastor for prayer regarding their struggles with menopause.”
“What is sad is that menopause can also affect mental health,” reflected Markiewicz, “and whilst the church is getting better at supporting people’s mental health there is a way to go regarding menopause.”
That fact alone is surprising upon consideration of the fact that about half of the eight billion people living in the world today are women (4.04 billion in 2024, according to Statistics Times) who, as long as they have ovaries, experience the menopause with varying symptoms.
That means more than four billion people on the planet for whom the Church has little to say about a biological bodily condition, which can have dramatic effects not just on women but also their families.
The World Health Organisation (WHO) defines menopause as a point in a continuum of life stages for women, normally between the ages of 45 and 55, which marks the end of their reproductive years as part of aging. A loss of ovarian follicular function and a decline in circulating blood oestrogen levels, causes the condition.
“The hormonal changes associated with menopause can affect physical, emotional, mental, and social well-being,” WHO says on its website. “The symptoms experienced during and following the menopausal transition vary substantially from person to person. Some have few if any symptoms. For others, symptoms can be severe and affect daily activities and quality of life. Some can experience symptoms for several years.”
These symptoms include hot flushes, night sweats, vaginal dryness, painful sex, insomnia, and effects on mood with depression and anxiety, according to WHO.
Markiewicz said the “juggling act of family life” becomes much harder during menopause and brings extra pressure “into the already demanding act of balancing work, family and social life.” These difficulties don’t take into account extra issues, such as caring for older parents.
“These additional pressures, combined with menopausal mood swings, can leave women feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and isolated,” said Markiewicz. “Emotions, hormones, and physical changes can bring havoc for many women.”
20 percent of women in Western cultures report no menopausal symptoms but that still leaves a vast majority of 80 percent facing “change and transition,” said Markiewicz, adding that women did not have to endure the experience alone and there is power in “open and honest” communication with those closest about what is happening.
“Menopause is a natural part of life, so we must not be shy about talking about it with our loved ones, especially our family. The more they understand what women are experiencing, the more supportive they can be.”
The menopause process can strain relationships and Markiewicz advised women to talk to partners about their feelings and work together to navigate the transition.
“It has been quoted ‘knowledge is power’ and in the case of menopausal transition this could not be truer. For husbands to have an empathetic view towards their wife’s symptoms will go a long way.
“Often women have been poorly informed about what to expect, and struggle to make sense of their symptoms and struggles.
“Husbands can educate themselves about menopause, the potential symptoms, and how it can affect their loved one, and find better ways to maintain connection and navigate the transition together.
“There are numerous online resources and I would recommend husbands look at these and be mindful of potential symptoms.”
Markiewicz recommended websites by Menopause Matters, the British Menopause Society and Rock My Menopause. “These are informative and I have often reverted back to them, however there are several more around than there used to be too.”
Concerned husbands noticing any changes should help their wives in seeking medical support and investigate treatments together if needed, according to Markiewicz.
“Listening and supporting are key, try to understand their feelings and do not try and ‘fix it’.”
Markiewicz also advised husbands to be patient with their wives when it came to physical intimacy during the menopause.
“Take their symptoms seriously, do not just assume all partners’ feelings and thoughts are all rooted in hormonal changes and never dismiss them because it is ‘just menopause’.”
It can also help to have age-appropriate conversations with children, added Markiewicz.
“Some women choose not to mention it to their children. It is important to communicate menopause is a natural change that all women go through, but it can be a confusing topic for children.
“When they are young, you do not need to go into detail about menopause. Keep it simple and explain that women’s bodies go through changes as they grow older, like how they changed during puberty.
“When discussing puberty, you can briefly mention that there is a flip side to this stage for women. Explain that their bodies will eventually slow down hormone production. Normalizing menopause is a key to helping future generations understand.”
These conversations with youngsters about bodies can better equip them for their own future bodily changes.
“Have open and honest conversations about menopause with your children, helping them understand this natural part of a woman’s life journey.”
Markiewicz said most women she knew would like to be part of a group with other women going through a similar experience. She heard of a church offering a monthly menopause awareness coffee morning, open to the local community, which is well attended.
“Churches could start menopause support groups for women but also invite husbands along for an informative and educational meeting,” Markiewicz suggested.
The distraction of the menopause on Christian life also needs to be taken into account by churches, according to Markiewicz.
“My MA research discovered that for several women going through menopause their faith journey was affected, feeling like they were in a spiritual fog.
“However the positive news is that all women I interviewed said that although they may have had struggles, emotionally, physically, and psychologically, but their faith after menopause was deeper and stronger than before.”
Read this insightful blog by Markiewicz for Sanctuary Mental Health Ministries in Canada, in which she discloses her own personal journey with the menopause.
